Wedding vows are finicky things, the old traditional ones were slightly different between the male and female spouse–for this thought experiment let’s call our marital persons Barb and Johan:
“I Barb do hereby take Johan to be my husband, forsaking all others, to love, honor, and obey, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, until death do us part.”
Now the only substantive difference between Barb and Johan is the “obey” portion as in a truly traditional marriage Barb would be totally subservient to Johan and in some localities she still is Johan’s property–yes chattel property laws are still a thing in parts of the world.
Now to break these down a bit:
“Forsaking all others,” now this should be pretty obvious, but apparently it isn’t to a great many people; in its simplest intention it means you don’t even entertain the idea of loving anyone else in your daily life, that your spouse is it. No extras, no boy/girlfriends, no added people in your home and daily life in any capacity beyond your children.
To love: in the words a song “love is a curious thing, makes one man weep and another man sing” (I’ve done both). Love is not an emotion I personally can quantitatively explain as how it manifests is so different between people, but more people seem to feel that it equates to not seeing how you could go through life without the other person with you.
To honor: don’t talk bad about your spouse. Hold them in high regard. Help them, hold their hand, be there when they need you.
In sickness and in health: should be self-evident, but the number of people who bail when there is a cancer diagnosis, or their spouse is suddenly in a wheelchair seems to prove the opposite.
For richer or for poorer: this is like sickness and in health; no one has a problem with being richer, but how many walk when the money isn’t there?
“Until death do us part” we have all heard this line and many of us have said it–some more than once–but what does that really mean? The obvious is you are together until one of you dies, but what level of death? Does it mean the death of the love between Barb and Johan? Let’s face it many relationships have an expiration date that neither party sees upfront because they are wearing love goggles.
Could it mean:
- The death of trust between them because one of them deceived the other?
- The death of love as they grow apart?
- Death from a traumatic brain injury that leaves them with a different personality? (I have experience with this one)
- Physical death?
Most assume physical death, but even at that, death for how long? Many people have had near death experiences, many have been pronounced dead, so how long? If someone has no brain activity and is pronounced dead, technically the contract is fulfilled so should the marriage and probate rites apply? Does Johan legally own everything because Barb was hit by a lightning strike as Zeus got upset with her, and Doctor Welby declared her dead on arrival at the hospital even though she came back on her way to the morgue? (This is a real medical condition known as The Lazarus Effect) I mean legally she was dead, so life insurance, probate, etc should all kick in, but is Johan on the hook for Barb at all since she was, you know, dead?
Sadly I can see an insurance company screaming “fraud” and cancelling the policy as opposed to fulfilling it. I can also see the hospital charging Barb for her death.
That sort of wraps up this thought experiment
Maura out
