I may be on the mend from Jobe, but I saw her profile Saturday evening while scanning for something on another mutual’s timeline. Seeing that profile immediately brought all the anxiety back, and anger at the lies told to me.
As usual with her, what little I saw of her profile was filled with lies right down to her dyed hair, heavy make-up, and the excessive filters of her profile. I delved no further, there is no good in that, only extreme pain.
As of Sunday morning I am doing okay aside from nightmares regarding her. Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse is a really long road according to the therapist. I wasn't looking for her, nor did I expect to see her where I did. What I am left with is a mix of emotions, from her lies, future faking (more lies actually), her constant mental abuse, and her backstabbing by telling mutual friends not to speak to me–yes that is confirmed. I believe I have mentioned before that the trauma bond is like being addicted to heroin or cocaine and can take years of therapy and absolute no contact of the perpetrator to break. What this instance shows me is the truth in that knowledge.
Buttercup was here when I stumbled across Jobe’s profile, she is old enough and perceptive enough that she caught my mood shift. Buttercup realized maybe before I did that Jobe is toxic and as a result does not like her. My few in person friends also saw first hand what she was doing to me, they all agree I am doing a lot better now.
Until I ended it with Jobe on 12/31/2023 and took the space to clear my head I hadn't realized how abusive she really is. She is evil through and through. I just hope and pray all of her lies, and crimes (yes actual land you in jail crimes) come back to haunt her. That may sound cruel but at least in jail she would get the psychiatric help that she so desperately needs, and it would prevent her from finding other victims. I now know of two doctorate level mathematicians, a lawyer, an information technology person, and several others that are all victims of her abuse–most have abandoned twitter in an effort to avoid her.
For me I am working on healing, toward being whole again or possibly even for the first time. I was raised by a grandiose narcissist and that is one reason why it was so easy to fall for Jobe…she seemed normal to me.
The shop
The forming of the foundation topping is moving along well. Over this next weekend I’ll be pouring concrete into the forms, then a week later I should be able to start framing the walls.
There is a level of apprehension in being this far along on the shop, and as I was walking in the yard after I got home the other day it hit me as to why. I've wanted my own place and workshop since I was eight so 46 years now. Every-time I have gotten close something has gone wrong.
I had a tiny workspace after I was first married at a place we were supposed to be buying from Once Wife’s parents until suddenly they changed their minds and we were forced to move.
I started to get the garage cleaned up and usable at our last house, and we wound up storing a massive mountain of her mom's crap…right smack in the middle of my garage.
We moved to my current house, thought I had space, planned a video channel, and everything disintegrated.
Now again I am seeing a shop starting to form, and I'm scared of "what will be the issue this time?”
I guess that’s all the updates for now. I have a post about fuses and circuit breakers to post soon, maybe next week?
Maura out
