January 1st 2024

It is now a new year. What has changed?

Jobe was in my life at the beginning of last year and as of last night is now blocked across all social media and from texting. I’ll back up all the conversations and archive them, but I have no inclination of letting her back again. I have been mentally abused most of my life, and I don’t need more of it.

What lies ahead for me this year?

Well the plan is to spend the next 40 or 50 years left to me alone. I won’t look for anyone else as it is not worth the pain and I have now had two failed long term relationships–ironically Once Wife is still my best friend though. With two relationships down the common denominator is me.

I have far less trust in the Universe/God/Goddess/Spirit now as It kept telling me “she’s healing”, “don’t walk away”, “she’ll be here”, all lies.

I should have spare cash now so I’ll focus on my shop and house. I should have my wardrobe for filming pretty much collected now so that won’t be as much going out–everyone has a gimmick.

Hopefully by April to June I should be starting on getting the shop up in earnest. Once it is up and tooled, I can start working toward remodeling the kitchen. The kitchen involves removing two walls, building new cabinets, adding lighting, building countertops, flooring, pretty much everything big comes out of the shop–premade cabinets are expensive and they are not that hard to make.

It will be babysteps from here forward though.

The laser hair removal is moving forward and some areas are really doing good. I was told facial hair is a pain and it is. If things go right though, by the time I am ready to start filming again most of the laser work should be done.

My weight is slowly starting to shed again and if I don’t screw up the plan that too should be at or nearly in check by time to start filming–as I have said before if I am going to look pregnant I should at least get a baby out of it.

Beyond getting into the shop I really have no plans for the year. I’m sure I will be battling depression and regret for a while, but I will have to rely on my friends (both digital and in real life), and family, to remind me of why I had to cut her out.

I guess that’s all

Maura out