New kitchen tool take 1

So I've gotten several new tools for the kitchen recently and this one just this last week.  I am trying to get back to more scratch cooking and step further away from odd chemical ingredients.  I'm a chef, and I know some things just don't belong, but I also understand that some things are for shelf stability, or increase speed of production, etc.  But let's be honest some ingredients really ought not be consumed regularly--red 40 for example.

So I present the newest tool:

I owned a very nice bread machine years ago, but Once Wife wasn't supposed to eat gluten and it could not make gluten free bread.  I much prefer homemade or French bread over traditional sponge loaf that the grocery stores carry, and yes the mass produced stuff is properly called sponge loaf, it is bread but like French, Italian, Nan, it does have a type associated with it.  Thus enters my new machine in the kitchen.

As you can see this little machine is quite ambitious being able to make bread, dough, jam--bread and jam do go together after all--yogurt, cake...the recipe for cake actually calls for yeast which is something I have not made in a very long time.  I intended for its maiden voyage to have been Saturday, but alas it was not meant to be.  The first loaf came out late Sunday evening.

Now the keenly observant will note that the loaf is very undersized, that would be from operator error--never make bread when you've been sick for two days and still don't feel good as mistakes will be made.  Now if you are wondering what the error was I forgot to get the water up to temperature before adding it to the machine and my tap is about 65F/19C so not even close to right.

The grain of the bread is okay, the texture is decent, but it is a bit dense.  "Lembas bread. One small bite will fill the stomach of a grown man.”  This quote from Professor Tolkien pretty much sums up my current loaf.

So I when this loaf is consumed I will make another and see what I get, more Lembas or something soft that butter will soak into?

As to other new kitchen tools:

I have a pasta maker now although it will be used mostly for ravioli, modified Asian style dumplings--I mean really ravioli and filled dumplings have a lot in common, crackers, small pies, etc.

I bought an air fryer Sunday, yes I know they have been around a while and longer than the consumer market realizes as they were available for food service decades prior, but I don't eat much fried stuff to start with and I am too cheap to jump on the early appliance bandwagons.  I actually had to consider between a regular deep fat fryer or the air fryer and the choice was made by me being frugal/cheap.  Plus not having to store oil between uses.

Overall I am coming out of a long depression and back into myself and that means I am finally feeling at home in my culinary workshop again.  If all goes well I will be posting more culinary things and should finally be getting to recording video of some of it--I am getting more comfortable in-front of the camera now too--as those that follow my Instagram know--as I dump a lot of very degrading things said about my appearance from my psyche to the trash heap.  My kids willing come over and have lunch or dinner with me, or I pan up stuff when I make too much and drop it off to them as I work out recipes--in this economy they really enjoy that though they are amazing cooks themselves.  Every other month I have a reason to cook as fancy and gourmet as I can because Buttercup tells me I am the best chef ever and if I can't trust her, I can't trust anyone.  I get told "she won't eat..." regularly, and maybe it is because I cook differently or because it is grandma's house, but she will eat things here that she won't anywhere else 😊

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."

--Professor John Ronald Reuel Tolkien

Undocumented Canadian Immigrants

Now it seems everyone has an opinion about people crossing our Southern border via California, Arizona, New Mexico, and the Republic of Texas, and honestly I have thoughts and opinions on that too--if you commit what can be charged as a felony you should absolutly be deported, and forbidden any further attempt at entry for the rest of their life regardless of reason.

From Felonies(dot)org

Generally, a first time charge of improper entry, when assigned criminal charges, will likely only be a misdemeanor, dependent on a lack of aggravating factors. However, any offenses after that may result in a felony charge. 

Now as anyone who knows me will back up, I believe we have had an illegal immigrant problem since 1492.  At this point I, like many of my fellow indigenous people have to accept y'all ain't leaving anytime soon and even if you did we'd be left with a hell of a mess to clean up.  So immigration is here to stay, but can we do anything about it? Yes

• We need to enforce both Northern and Southern borders with brutal efficiency.
• We need to deport all people who have immigrated illegally.
• We may need to start putting ankle monitors on tourists so they can be found and deported when their visa expires as this is how 1.21% enter.
• We need to stop H1B visa issuance.  We have enough homeless people, homeless veterans, and underemployed citizens, that could be put in accelerated classes to more than fill the need for this category.  So long as the unemployment rate is above 1% there is no need to import specialized workers.

Now the undocumented Canadians that I opened with are the opposite of most Spanish speaking immigrants in my experience.  Most Spanish speakers in my experience are hard workers, well intentioned, and just want to get ahead.  Whereas these Canadian's are violent to the point of attacking without provocation, defecate literally everywhere and on everything, swim where "no swimming" is clearly posted, tare up lawns, absolutely destroy flower beds, in general they are an absolute menace, and are all members of the Branta canadensis gang!  Yes, every single one of them belong to Branta canadensis!  I fear they may be a clone army as well because every blasted one of them looks exactly the same!

Photo: Tom Koerner/USFWS

USFWS Mountain-Prairie • Public domain

Maura out

We come from the land of the ice and snow

From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow

How soft your fields so green

Can whisper tales of gore

Of how we calmed the tides of war

We are your overlords

--Jimmy Page & Robert Plant