Climate Alarmist Regulations

Okay let's be clear out of the gate, I'm an Anarcho-Capitalist and usually fall to the side of less or no regulation is best.  Recently though the New York Post ran an article saying that John Kerry's private jet usage in a year equaled 849 years of pollution from a wood-fired pizza oven.  This got me thinking about how hypocritical climate alarmists are and realizing we need to regulate them just as they want to regulate us, so let's get to it.

Foreign/overseas travel:

Should be conducted via sail boat, but not just any sail boat, it should be built entirely out of sustainably and ethically harvested materials.  That means no fiberglass, or metals as glass takes a lot of energy to make plus the resin used is petroleum based.  Steele is made in coal fired furnaces.  Iron, aluminium, copper, all require massive machines that run on diesel fuel to extract them from the ground plus there is all the hazardous run off from the mining and refining processes.  That leaves wood, reeds, or bamboo plus the sail should probably be made of bamboo fibers since cotton is kind of a resource hog too.  These boats/ships should absolutely NOT be equipped with a generator, or air-conditioning, wind turbines can charge batteries for navigation and food refrigeration but beyond that I really see no use for power.  Now I realize that this kind of ship lacks a lot of amenities but these people also want us to lack a lot of amenities and what is good for the commoner is good for the gentry.

Regular and domestic travel:

Local should be by bicycle.  Why a bicycle?  For starters they want all of us to have to use them.  A bicycle is a very efficient means of transport that requires little specialized maintenance and removes these alarmists SUVs from the road as they are so invested in us not having them.

Beyond let's go with 15 miles or 24 kilometers they need to use the absolute cheapest electric car made.  "Why the cheapest Maura?"  Because we can't all afford a Tesla and they need to live like a commoner.  I could allow domestic train travel though as most of the world is set up for this better than the United States is, BUT they must travel with the rest of the passengers absolutely NO private coaches even if they pay for all the seats in a regular coach I really don't care if they have to sit next to a colicky baby for three days, or wonder if the night car has bed bugs, they travel the same as they want everyone else to travel.

Accommodations:

They shall only be allowed to stay in group hostels, no individual room, no fancy hotel or motel.  If there is no hostel in the area then they can stay at the lowest priced hotel/motel within 15 miles/24 kilometers distance of their arrival point.

Clothes:

Their clothes must be made of organically grown natural fibers.  No rayon, no polyester, no pvc, nothing that has to be drilled or mined, or heavily processed shall be in their wardrobe and everything must be fair trade.

Homes:

Must be tiny, like say under 750 square feet or 67 square meters.  They must be built with no power tools, and out of sustainably harvested material, no concrete, brick, tile, or composites--except electrical insulation.  They must be painted with non fossil originated material, no carpet--I'd allow wool carpet, but many of these people are anti animal products too.  Heat must be permanently set to no more than 65F/18c heating must come from a mix of passive solar and generated on site power.  No air-conditioning as they are typically anti air-conditioning.  Hot water must come from a hot water solar collector no fueled water heaters.  All power must come from on site wind turbines and stored in iron-air batteries.  No grid tie in at all ever!

Disposable products:

Nope, not allowed.

Food:

Must be local grown.  Must be fair trade.  Must be organic--conventional food uses petrochemical fertilizers.  Must not be a water hogging plant even if grown local--almonds are a massive water user and we typically grow them in the dessert we call California.  I'd allow GMO sources but those typically don't meet organic guidelines.  No meat of any kind if they push vegetarianism, veganism, or eating bugs.  When traveling they can eat whatever local food, from a locally owned--seriously if the owner is not on site it is not local for this purpose--cafe or diner is within walking distance of their hostel.

Punishment for violations of these regulations:

If they push for wealth transfer then all of their wealth shall be transferred evenly amongst all the homeless shelters within their state or country.  If they do not push for wealth transfer or have already had theirs transferred then they must be sentenced to 320 hours of community service working with the local waste water collection agency cleaning clogged sewage drains.  When they have logged 320 hours of clog clearing they may return to their normal life.  Subsequent violations shall double the time and clearing drains each time they occur.  So 320 hours first offense, second offense 640 hours, third offense 1280 hours and so forth.

Now you will notice I never mention solar cells in this and that is because solar cells use a lot of rare Earth minerals that have a very damaging impact on the environment and are usually mined in really abhorrent conditions.  To be fair to the third world where these exotic minerals tend to come from we should really abstain from using them as much as humanly possible.

So why am I so hard on these people?  Because this is what they proselytize to the masses yet they fly all over the world in private jets, drive around with an entourage in SUVs, leave and return to palatial housing that is posh, climate controlled luxury, all while wearing designer clothes, designer shoes, and eating at the most glamorous establishments.  What they preach is what they should be living.

"We are the carbon they want to reduce!"

--Author unknown (or at least a search did not turn them up)