It is just after 08:00 on Saturday as I begin this post and I already have burnt most of my day's pile of brush. That's good because it was already 75F/24C when I came out before sunrise and looking at 91F/33C today plus high humidity.
I learned last weekend while mowing that my mower has a transmission failing–yes it has two one on each drive wheel and they are hermetically sealed so disposable 🤬; it shows the most if I am trying to mow the ditch, not as much on the flat yard.
I am looking into a compact tractor that has a small loader bucket as I need one to finish cleaning up the yard, putting in a new driveway, clearing out some of the old guest house to a rolloff dumpster, dig up stumps, and eventually to dig a pond/swimming hole. Now I could rent a loader each time but that is $1,000 a week each time between rent, delivery, and pick-up so $4k to $5k depending on how long it takes to put the driveway in correctly. A new zero turn that is commercial grade starts at $8k so I may as well buy what I need and always have it. Bonus is it pretty much identical to one I used at my former job–the joys of manager/supervisor you fill in when someone else is out.
The one I am getting comes with a mower deck too and I already have several accessories that it can use like a ground roller, spreader, dump wagon. Our local chain (Rural King) shows financing available, but I decided to discuss it with my credit union ahead of time to hopefully get a better rate. They said they can finance the tractor, probably 10% interest not sure of the term though. Easiest way would be a personal loan, but all the big personal loans while I was married were in Once Wife’s name.
Like most women post divorce I really have no credit history to speak of, and it is somewhat haunting me. Ironically I have a great credit score, but no proof of being able to pay off a loan that size independently. I don’t like the term “the patriarchy” but I can see where our society has some major issues. I ran into issues returning to the workforce after taking four years off to care for Buttercup. It was a nightmare of paperwork to take Once Wife’s name off of my car title–her car a dealer forged my signature to trade it in…no joke, they just had someone sign my name to a legally binding document. Yet taking her name off my deed was insanely easy–seriously we need some heavy duty rules put on that one. It was harder to title my truck after buying it from a dead guy than to swap the deed on my house, figure that one out. Getting her name off my water bill was a pain and I still can’t get Waste Management to take her name off my trash bill.
Many people say divorce is too easy. Personally I think it needs to be easy as too many of us are abused in our relationships be it mentally, financially, or physically, and the option out should be easy, but even in a no fault state, with no kids at home, and all assets and debts divided, we still had to both be present before a judge to have the divorce certified. I can’t fathom how that would work in a situation where it is a danger to be in the same room together. In the end the people who say divorce is too easy have never had to deal with the legal mess that comes after. You can’t just present your divorce papers to take your former spouse off titles and deeds, you have to have their signature and notary stamps, and potentially another set of down payments if your collateral has less value than your loan is for. I’m lucky in that I still get along with Once Wife, most are not so lucky.
So later today I will be talking to Rural King about a loader I need but a payment plan I’d rather avoid…Well I come back to this and it is later, interest is lower than the credit union quoted, payments over seven years aren’t too bad either. Will learn more about this Monday and how it will be delivered via a local towing company as it weighs more than my trailer can haul.
Friday evening I stopped by a local bar-b-que place that I have not been to in many years as I was unaware they had a place not far from where I shop. Food was as great as I remembered, but there was another patron across from me with the same notification sound I used for Jobe. I did not dive for my phone, nor did I get totally filled with anxiety as I was having happen at the end of our relationship. It did open some regrets but they were focused on regretting believing her lies…lots, and lots of lies. I’d be lying if I didn’t say there was a level of anxiety hearing the sound, but baby steps toward recovery is what I have to work with.
Got a new thermometer for my smoker. I have a 30 plus year old Brinkman smoker…essentially a very big tin can. I bought an electric element for it years ago so I don’t have to constantly feed it charcoal, but at my last house the electric service was 103 volts not 110 volts so not sure if the element is weak or the thermometer is a mess…both? I know that the voltage issue is a big factor and I do know the factory thermometer was a joke from day one, so pop a new thermometer in, plug in the super heavy duty extension cord and see what happens with it empty–it needs to burn out as it has been years since it was used last. I need to make it a new jacket as the last one got torn up by mice, upside I traced it out so I have a pattern. I kind of miss smoked roast beef etc. If I can get this going it beats the cost of a new one.
The level of depression is starting to lessen, but I do have a fear of how things will go soon as the depression has been at its worst when I come home from work in the dark…and that is not long from now. I have several friends online that have said I can reach out if I need to, which is good as I have no true friends in real life, but I don’t want to burn bridges either. One online friend doesn’t live too far away and we have met before so maybe with some more cleaning around here I can have them by.
I have submitted two articles at Ordinary-Times one has gone up the other is in the to be used pile, and a third is nearly done. I have been rereading Solitary Non-confinement a manuscript of mine that if I remember correctly is nearly done. Rereads for me are a chance to catch typos, wrong word intent, and “what was I trying to say?” I actually started this one seven years ago, but Once Wife had a habit of interrupting when I would try to write. Beyond that is another novel that actually is done but has sat fallow long enough a reread is needed before I track down an editor. Solitary Non-confinement may go live once it is done as it is a series of journal entries covering a year’s time so if I leave it as is it would be as written.
In interesting facts news; I learned Sunday morning that when a US submarine is lost it is listed as “On Eternal Patrol.” A sub is on patrol until it returns to port, thus eternal patrol. Every Christmas the Navy sends open coms messages to those ships. There are 52 of them on eternal patrol at this time.I guess for now that is all.
Maura out
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